there's something different between us

i miss that place, seriously.
Biasanya, dari sini, gue ngeliatin niel.
niel kadang-kadang main futsal di lapangan.
Dan gue biasanya duduk disitu, ditemenin tas-tas.
niel setiap hari kalo disekolah lewat sini, atau sekedar buat ke kantin.
niel juga sering ngobrol sama temen-temennya disini.
Dan dari sini, gue sering ngeliatin dia meskipun kadang-kadang beresiko kena bola.
Hari ini. disaat gue nulis postingan ini... Gue ngerasa kehilangan.

Rasanya gak adil, gue baru jadian, tapi kita udah harus pisah sekolah.
Dia harus ke gonz. Pisah sama gue.
Jujur aja, gue takut kalo dia SMA jadi lupa sama gue.
Sibuk sama tugas-tugas, sibuk berorientasi sama temen-temen baru.
Atau mungkin... kepincut sama cewek baru. Tragis.

sekarang jadi jarang bgt ketemu, sama-sama sibuk. padahal rumah deket tinggal nyebrang. tapi ketemu aja susah.
Malahan, kalo ketemu, gue yang kabur karena masih malu-malu norak gitu.
Tapi, tetep aja sedih.
Besok dan seterusnya, gue tambah males masuk sekolah.

Karena sampai saat ini, cuman Niel satu-satunya alasan kenapa gue semangat masuk sekolah.
mulai sekarang dan seterusnya, kita udah gak satu sekolah lagi.
Well......... I'm going to miss him like hell.
And school......... School always sucks without him around.

this is isn't story about you, this is for you :

Really. I don’t know where to start.

Yeah, I’ve been planning to write something about you, something for you, so you can know how much you mean to me. I want you to know that you’ve changed my life and my point of view about it. I thought if I write you something, you will know how much I love you. I need you. I think of you. I care about you. How special you are for me. I just can’t find the right words. I’m trying hard not to write them too cheesy.

This isn’t a love letter. I don’t even know what I should call this. But I dedicate this to you :P

I was not good at showing you how much I. Love. You. I hope you can understand. I wasn’t typical of romantic girl, yeah but you change me. I’m so happy knowing that I could say “I love you” to you shamelessly yesterday. I. Love. How. You. Make. Me. Feel!

I’m tired of this kind of conversation.

” L: Kamu baik banget! N: Baik kenapa? L: Gatau, baik aja. Baik bgt. N: -__-”

” L: Aku syg kamu…ah MALU! N: Hahaha kalo beneran syg kenapa malu.”

I didn’t know what the heck is happening to me everytime you ask me that. Did I say I don’t know? I always know it! I’m not saying that because of no reason! It’s because there’s too much reason and I can’t tell you one by one. I’m too shy.

I read this article yesterday: http://sweetnostalgia.wordpress.com/2007/10/30/find-someone/

Find someone who will kiss you just before the traffic light turns green. Who will close his eyes when he hugs you, who will patiently wait for you after class or after work. Who will smell your hair every chance he gets, who will wipe your sweat with his hanky. Who will sing your favorite song even if he can’t carry a tune. Who will let you rest over his shoulder. Who’ll let you sleep on his lap and will give you the first and last bite of his burger. Who’ll squeeze your hand tighter when you squeezed his… Find someone who occupies your dream every night. And when you find him never let him go.

It was so reminding me of you. You are what I’ve been wishing for. I appreciate every little things you’ve done to me until now. I read that article and I realized that you’ve been very nice and mean SO MUCH to me.

I’ve been in love before. But I never this sure of someone.. I’m never this afraid of losing someone. I never feel like this, wanting to be by your side everytime. I miss you everytime you’re not here.

I don’t know exactly the first time I felt so comfortable with your presence in my life, but it’s getting so much better since you came :) I never forget to fall in love with you everyday, you’re the first thought in my mind when I wake up, also my last when the night falls.

Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights, and all our jokes, I fell in love ♥

Life was so much boring before I met you. You’ve changed me, you’ve changed my life. You make me trust again. You can listen to the words I’m not saying. You fill my empty words. You get along with my family :P You never make me cry and you don’t even want to. You never make fun of me. You’ve been at my side when I need you. You showed me that I never have to be alone for as long as you’re around. I love how you make me feel special. You make me feel loved, needed. You’ve seen me at my worst, and yet you still love me. I hurt you, I’ve let you down, and you still love me for who I am. THANK YOU. SO MUCH!

I need you. You mean everything to me. I do hope you feel the same :)

Things are going to change from now but it won’t change me. I don’t know what will happen in the future, all I know is I want you to accompany me. I love you means I will accept you when you’re at your best and worst. I will love you when things are easy and difficult. I’ve waited for someone like you for a long time, I’m not letting you go! I don’t believe in forever, but I believe some things are just remain the same :)

I’m happy with you! No one can ever change my mind except you. I’m staying. Through the good and bad times, I’m willing to stay :)

Thank you for changing my life. Thank you for being so nice to me. Thank you for loving me, Niel :)

I LOVE YOU!

Bernadette Indah Larasati ^^

Suddenly I Remembered.................. :'/

Fuckin' flashback is attack me now... How can? I'm just really didn't know why it's so hard to do, sometimes felt like I really hate you for sure. You've change and I don't even know who you are cause you're different than before. Now I have someone who better than you and I hope so. Even I know you're the best ex I ever had... You're the 1st and no one can change it, may you felt the same way too.. The first would never be replaced

so now i know where my position in your heart, thanks for your kindness for didnt want to hurt me, i appreciate that, you're kind, really, i feel warm when i still with you, you're the best boyfriend i ever had, its the first time i feel i loved by someone, you give me a deep memories in my hearts. i know life must be go on, nothing can be forever, maybe i'm too much, but i really love you from my heart, i want to take care of you, i want to barrier you, i still want to be with you, but................................. its only my ego, i cant do anything, i dont want to treatened you, i must give you a freedom. fyi, when i write this, i'm crying haha... i want to show you that i'm strong but what? i'm crying again -,- i'll try my best to be stronger again, sorry for disturbing you, i'll keep our memories warmly in my heart, i wont forget you, stupid me to hope we can be like before, i still love you, more and more but maybe its time for me to pass you away, to someone heart, maybe................ haha truthly, i'm always looking for your facebook profile and idk why i always felt jealous.... i always looking for you, waiting for you, but when i know your words 'i dont want to hurt her' serously, my hope flew away.............. i dont know where my hope goes by, thanks for everything and your kindness.. please, searching a good girl and improve your score for me too.... i only want to seeing you happy. idk what to do, because its my first time really in love with someone, not 'want to keep someone for us',but at least, no words can off from my mouth, its your choice, i'll miss you, take care chibby

dedicated for AAP

Nathaniel Sabian Sitorus 20042010♥

N : ".....nggg rasss, nggg.......gue suka sama lo nggg...."
L : "ha?heeee"
N : "....nggg lo mau gak ras?"
L : "mau apa?"
N : "......nggg mau gak jadi cewek gua?"
L : -----spechless
N : "ras jawab dong ras ngggggg hmmmm mmmm....."
L : "iya mau kok......"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nathaniel Sabian Sitorus. dua puluh april dua ribu sepuluh. Just for your information, I love him so much. He's the one and only for me. I've been waiting too long for him, and now when he's mine, I'll try to give my best and I never want to disappoint him. Even sometimes he doesn't care, sensitive and doesn't respect me, he's still the best I've ever had and I'm so thankfull I found him :) I've tried so hard to understand that he has his own way to show his love for me. He's my number one guy and I'll always making time for him. I want him to stay close, don't go. And I want him to know that I miss him all the time, more and more each day :)

niel, thanks for bringing back my smile. I was glad to have you.You are the entertainer for me if I’m lonely.Thanks for everything.Thanks for your attention to me.Only you who understand me I really adore you.Without you maybe I was lonely.You’re my mood booster. You are the answer to every prayer I've offered. You are a song, a dream, a whisper, and I don't know how I could live without you for as long as I have. I love you, more than you can ever imagine. I always have, and i always will♥

my last words

disaat merana, memikul beban dalam keputusasaan

mendengar bisik-bisik hampa dalam jurang kemunafikan

merasakan getaran-getaran kejujuran dalam sebuah kebohongan

mencari arti sebuah hidup karena tercipta kematian

aku berjalan, berhenti, berlari, kemudian mencari lagi

hanya karena ku tak mampu berpaling dan menjalani

semua yang ada dan tertulis kemudian berakhir

kau adalah jalan menuju surga, sebelum akhirnya ku terjembab di neraka

kau adalah cerita sebelum tidur, ketika akhirnya menjadi cerita sesudah mati

kau bukan kenangan, bukan memori, bukan masa lalu

tapi kau adalah hari esok, ketika hari kemarin adalah mimpi

Tuhan memang tidak pernah memberi apa yang kupinta, tapi Tuhan selalu memberi apa yang kubutuhkan

dan bila akhirnya ku melepasmu, bukan berarti kau bukan kebutuhanku

namun bila Tuhan memberiku kembali padamu, apakah aku sesuatu yang kau pinta?

kembalilah kesini, karena langitku pudar akan mentarinya

mentari yang dulu pernah dan selalu menerangi

sudi kah bila langit yang dulu cerah, kini menjadi abu-abu, sebelum akhirnya pudar menjadi hitam?

keterbatasan dan perbedaan telah kutempa

namun kau selalu ada di relungku, tanpa tanda kutip sedikitpun

.... ajari aku melupakanmu

**********

finished actually.
how how how?
anjing demi Tuhan gue ngakak sendiri bacanya. what the hell is going on me so I could write a slut like this?
hehehe. don't judge me. gue nggak pernah berpikiran macem-macem, so calm down.
anjrit yang terakhir dalem tuh padahal. 'tell me how to forget you."
ssssshit. omg that's so true. tell me how to forget you, when finally I miss you and I can't have you. anymore.
belakangan ini gue kayak kena psikis sindrom.
iya. sering ngerusak diri sendiri. entah kenapa, itu bisa bikin gue bahagia. walaupun itu salah.
the best thing of life is when you could find yourself when you're missing.
dan sekarang, gue kayak kehilangan jati diri. lupa siapa gue sebenernya, dan lakuin apapun yang bisa dilakuin.
is it... weird enough?
please banget, gue pengen berhenti. tapi semenjak depresi & terlalu banyak problem, i've been gave up.
gue nyerahin semuanya sama fate. sama takdir, tanpa berusaha sedikitpun.
dan ujung-ujungnya jadi sableng sendiri. oh please, thumb down.

siapa sih yang bisa ngertiin gue?
siapa sih yang masih peduliin gue?
siapa sih yang mau dengerin gue?

setiap hari gue ulang pertanyaan itu, walaupun gue gapernah nemuin jawaban pastinya.
dan gue ngulang kata-kata itu sampe gak ada artinya lagi. enough.
tapi gue bahagia sama hidup gue.
walaupun gak sebahagia seminggu yang lalu. ups...
iya. dunia gue kayak diputer balik. gak ngerti deh kenapa.
yang jelas kayak lo lagi main di padang rumput yang cool banget scenery-nya, sebelum beberapa saat kemudian lo jatuh di jurangnya.
kayak gitu. sumpah. serius.
yaudah.. i deserved to move on like what they've said before.
meskipun saya kadang suka tidak yakin haha.
yaudahsihjalaninaja.
sekarang cuma bisa.. nunggu :/

For him I'd smile when he's happy kiss him when he's sad... try to be the perfect girl and calm him when he's mad hold his hand to make him strong and say he's right when I know he's wrong.

thankyou and goodbe iyel, RIP 26-01-09

happy 13th months anniversary

Happy 13th month anniversary baby! You are my one and only. I love you, te amo, je t'aime, No me ames, wo ai ni, aishiteru, ich liebt dich, aku cinta kamu♥ I don't wanna have a happy ending for our relationship sayang, cause I don't wanna see it ends :')

I don't.....know what to write :/ I just wanna say that I miss you fvcking a lot. Hell yeah, I miss you I miss you! But too bad, I don't know what to do! Stupid? Oh well, I know I am. Aaa I need you, you're all that I need! I don't wanna live without you cause I know I can't. You're the one I want to be with, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one I see myself growing old with. You're the only one that has shown me that you really care. You're the only one I need, the only one I want, the only one I love, the one I always thinking of, the one I gave the key to my heart. You're the one I care about, the one that makes me happy. You're the one I want to make happy, the one I want to hold in my arms forever. I wish I could run to you, the one I could be with, I love you.

while I'm listening to Brown Eyes by Destinys Child, I've just realized that I'm so lucky to have you in my life. Cause in fact you're too good for me. You always try to make time for me, but it's never enough for me, I always demand you more and more. You always care about me, but I never listen to you. I never greet you first, I rarely ask you "Udah makan belom?", or something. You believe in me and you gimme freedom but me? Well, honestly I trust you, but it doesn't mean I'm not afraid to lose you, cause in fact I'm so scared of losing you that's why I can't let you free. Sayang, I'm sorry I can't give my best ya, but I'll keep trying kok :) Thanks for brighten up my day and making me smile everyday ya bbi. I love you with all of my heart deh, I swear. I promise I won't hurt your feelings anymore and I will love you now and forever :)

dedicated for my beloved Axel Azarya Pratama!

rain?i have no idea

Rain means washing all the hurts and sadness away
Rain washes away my pain
Rain hides away my tears of shame

And, after the rain..



There will be a rainbow.
Because, there's no rainbow without the rain.

Gila skrg udah jam 11 dan besok gua bangun jam setengah 6? Holy crap. Kenapa sih mata gue gak mau bekerja sama sekali ini aja membiarkan gue tidur yang puas dan melepaskan beban selama hari senin hingga jumat?

Masa, temen-temen gue pada ngiri gitu gue balikan. Bikin bete. Gak semuanya sih. tp yaaa risih aja. udah mana skrg pacar gua cemburu pula wkwk. tapi jujur loh gue suka dicemburuin. tandanya sayaaaang yakan? yakan?

sekarang musim hujan. Gue sangat sangat sangat suka musim hujan.
The way water touch my face, the taste of the rain on my lips, the different atmosphere, the way we running through the rain, everything about rain!

tapi Musim hujan pasti lebih asik punya pacar atau gebetan.
Tau kan ya banyak banget something unprecditable pada saat hujan. Contoh, kayak tiba-tiba lo lagi berteduh dan disebelah lo ada gebetan lo, cuma bedua lagi BEH RASANYA NAMPOL. Atau bagi yang punya pacar nih, pas hujan lalu lo kedinginan dan tiba-tiba pacar lo nawarin lo jaketnya. Or maybe, he gives you a big hug that could warm you all day :)

Hihihi,
gue jadi senyam senyum sendiri mikirinnya.
aku bersyukur aku punya iyel, yang bisa nemenin aku di saat musim hujan dan musim kemarau :3


Apa sih. Gue juga bingung ini gue posting apaan. Random abis.



Udah ah, laper, mau makan.
Dadah.

future

I guess I'll see you in next 10 years
every morning I wake up in your arms
kiss my forehead and say "Good morning"
be the last person I see before I close my eyes
the first thing I see every time I wake up
see your smile, hear your voice, feel your warm breath
baby, I love you

here I stay next to you
sing you an everlasting lullaby
hold your hand and never let it go
be the last thing you see before you close your eyes
before you fall into an eternal sleep

let me tell you some tale before you off to bed
turn off the light and take your blanket
give you some goodnight kisses and say "I love you"
before you softly close your eyes
I'll be here, watching you when you're sleeping
to guide you and to guard you
be one of the stars in your sky
baby, it will be last forever

so there you are now
sleeping peacefully with a smile in your face
you taught me something no one else can do
how to love someone with all of your heart
and that's what you did to me
until the last time we're seen each other
until the last time i hold your hand
sleep tight dear love

so I guess I'll see you in other 20 years or more
with every memory of us playing in my head everyday
until it last forever
baby, I love you

26 Reason Why I Love You ♥

1. I know that you love me much more than I've ever realize
2. You really taking good care of me
3. You know how to treat me well
4. I know you won't let me go that easily
5. I know that there's no one else except me
6. You're always be there anywhere anytime I need you
7. You're precious
8. I've no regret knowing that I love you
9. You always know what I want
10. You love me whatever I am
11. I'm glad that I met you that day
12. I like the way you treat me
13. I love every little surprise you gave me
14. You light up my day
15. You always make me smile
16. You always say that I am beautiful even in my worst time
17. You fill my day with laughter
18. You gave me something that I always wanted
19. You're as spoiled as a little kitty cat
20. You really really got me
21. I have faith in you
22. You're my own personal brand of heroin
23. You're the best I've ever had
24. I love to spend the rest of my day and life with you
25. I love you(:
26. Everything's started over here(:

eiffel , i'm in love

kalo aku udah punya uang, kita kesana ya iyel......

do you know your alphabet?

1. A is for age: 13.

2. B is for beer of choice: Budlight.

3. C is for what you can’t wait for right now: meet iyel!

4. D is for your dog’s name: barong & chocho

5. E is for essential item you use everyday: Cellphone

6. F is for favorite TV show at the moment: take me out!!!!

7. G is for favorite game: Super Mario Bros

8. H is for hometown: Jakarta.

9. I is for instruments you play: pianika HAHAHA none

10. J is for favorite juice: mangooo

11. K is for whose butt you’d like to kick: bitch!

12. L is for last food you ate: nasi uduk

13. M is for marriage: There will be a time.

14. N is for your name: Laras ;)

15. O is for overnight hospital stays: Hhhhhh

16. P is for people you can’t live without: parents,family,82,36,and......iyel absolutely :p

17. Q is for quote: “I dont wanna be a broken hearted girl, so that i’ll never gonna hurted someone because i know that karma does exist”

18. R is for biggest regret: Giving up.

19. S is for status: in a relationship with Axel Azarya Pratama :)

20. T is for time you woke up today: arround 5 am

21. U is for underwear you have on now: WHITE!

22. V is for vegetable you love: NONE!

23. W is for worst habit: Badmood w/o any reason

24. X is for x-rays you’ve had: *none*

25. Y is for yummy food you ate today? nasi udukkkkk!

26. Z is for the zodiac sign: aries

senior high school!

Tarakanita 1 pulo raya Senior High School, South Jakarta. My and so many other 9th graders’ Highschool target. I’ll do my best, I’ll give my hardest effort. I’ll study everyday to win this target. I don’t want other SHS. I must get this one!!! Pray for us who wants to be tarki pulorSHS students!

dream!

this is named SORBONNE university. i have a dream if someday i can have education from there....Aminnnn! :pppp

sweet 1st year anniversary of laxel

maaf yaa aku cm bisa kasih kamu video itu hihi bikinnya aja mendadak bgt-_- smg kita bisa langgeng ya. buktiin sama aku semua kata-kata kamu. jangan pernah kecewain aku lg yaa, jangan bohongin aku lg. anniversary kyk gini emg cuma setaun sekali, tp sygku ke kamu tiap hari dongggggg -_-HAPPYANNIVERSARYSYGGGG! oya, buat tmn2 esp. merri mksh yaaa buat sushi-ya nya yaaaa, ayoo girls36 jangan pd nangis lg donggg ah wkwk i-love-you-smooooch :*

death

if i died tonight, how many people would care? how many people would know? how many people would moan and wish they had me back? how many people would regret being assholes? how many people would wish they loved me more? how many people would wish they loved me less?

cuma ini yang bisa aku kasih buat kalian, happy anniversary!

they're unique
they're lovable
they're skinny
they're kind
they're mature
they're a real romanisty
they're wise
they're a good listener
they have so many things
they called "vhicio"

and you know?
they're the greatest of the greatest couple i've ever met
i envy them,surely

happy anniversary vhina-haggai
1 tahun, berarti udah boleh nonton miyabi
1 tahun, berarti udah dewasa
udah dewasa, ga boleh ngambek2an
udah dewasa, ga boleh malu lagi
udah dewasa, berarti udah bisa nentuin yang terbaik buat kalian berdua.

udah dewasa,
harus jadi orang yang bijaksana

haggai,
lo sering banget cerita ke gue
tentang kisah-kisahnya orang sukses
sukses ga didapet begitu aja
harus merangkak dari bawah
berjuang buat nyampe ke atas
dan buat nyampe ke atas,
kita harus ngorbanin banyak banget hal.
dan buat ngorbanin sesuatu kita harus bisa ikhlas
dan kalo udah sampe atas
kita harus berani jatuh
karena saat jatuh itu kita pasti belajar
belajar buat memandang semua hal dari sisi positif
belajar buat nggak terus-terusan ngeliat ke belakang
belajar buat optimis
belajar buat mengerti kalo segala seneng-seneng pasti ada susahnya dulu
belajar buat mengerti arti perjuangan
belajar buat mengerti tentang arti hidup

gue inget semua wejangan-wejangan lo -- sampe kapanpun
gue pengen bisa kyk yang lo ceritain ke gue
gue kagum sama cara lo mandang dunia
walaupun kadang lo bego goblok tolol konyol dan ngeselin
tapi di saat - saat tertentu lo bijaksana banget

jadi orang sukses ya
masuk fakultas hukum
terus nanti jadi pengacara deh kayak om nalom (haha)
semoga mimpi lo bisa jadi nyata
inget pasal2 yang diajarin pak markus!
aseeeeek deh, nanti kalo gue ada kasus bantuin yaaa, gratis tapi wkwk
semoga lo ga suka ngambek lagi sama ayahanda dan mamahanda (gaenak bgt bahasa gue)
bawa nama baik orang batak yaa iban!
semoga nanti, limabelas duapuluh tahun lagi
gue bisa liat lo di TV, acara kick andy (kalo masih ada)
lagi diwawancarain tentang gimana caranya jadi orang sukses
atau di acara mario teguh
jangan-jangan ntar lo lagi yang gantiin mario teguh
abisnya lu kayaknya bakat jadi motivator
gue doain lo bahagia dunia dan akhirat
Takut sama Tuhan
nomer satu kan ibadah ya..

buat Vhina,
makasih ya udah mau dengerin setiap celotehannya Laras
makasih atas saran2nya yang bergunaa banget
ga nyangka bisa ketemu kamu lagi setelah sekian taun kita dulu pernah ngabisin waktu bersama waktu masih kecil
"forever friends" inget gak?hahaha
gue bangga punya temen kayak lo
gue kagum sama lo (waktu lg bijaksana, waktu lg freak engga, hehe)
gue pengen neladanin lo
jadi teladan yang baik buat gue ya
bukan buat gue doang deh
buat semua orang ya!
sama-sama belajar jadi lebih baik, okeee?

happy sweet 1st year anniversary
vhicio!

i love you both! :)

bernadette indah larasati,
xoxo

for someone that might not read this note but i really want him to read this

You said it doesn't work
I try so hard to make it work but you just don't care at all

I know I was wrong
And I've promised I would change
I've promised I would be the girl just like you want
And I'll try, I'm trying, I've tried, and I keep trying
Because you know why?
I just never loved someone like I do to you,
Nobody ever made me feel so loved, anybody but you
Because
I.
Love.
You.

But you just don't understand how much I do

It's so hard to let you go, and I don't want to let you go
I don't
actually,
I can't

You mean so much for me
Maybe,
You mean too much for me.

remember about the sweetest part of my life

do you know axel azarya pratama?
Well, if you don't, let me tell you and let you know

he's the sweetest man that I've ever had, seriously.

And I just want to tell you about him. Me and him. Our story.
-------

kalo orang bilang ini suatu kebetulan, udah pasti bukan. karena pernah ada pepatah yang bilang "gaada sesuatu yang kebetulan, karena semuanya udah diatur sama Tuhan" begitu juga sama kisah cinta gue. semua berawal ketika kita dipersatukan di kelas 82. kita jadian tanggal 26 januari 2009, pas imlek. kata orang cina, imlek itu membawa banyak berkah (yaa gue berharap jadian gue membawa berkah)

mau tau kenapa lagu viva la vida itu berarti banget buat gue?jadi gini....

xl : lg apaaa?
gue : lagi tdrn aja, kamu?
xl : lg dengerin lagu...
gue : lagu apaaaa?
xl : lagunya coldplay, viva la vida. dengerin deh
gue : okeoke

trs lgsg kan gue cari trs gue download dari google trs gue dengerin. oneday, dia ngirim grafiti ini di wall fb gue, nah dari situ jadi lagu viva la vida itu kenangan banget buat gue. sampe skrg gue masih suka nangis kalo denger lagu itu :(

viva la vida - viva la 2619

kalo ini digambarin sama citra, waktu masih sebulanan jadian kalo ga salah

dan sampe skrg gue masih inget kata2nya, entah dia gombal atau apa tapi dia pernah bilang "sumpah aku bahkan ga akan mau pernah ngedipin mataku sepersekian detikpun kalo liat kamu kyk tadi"

too many sweet things that he had done to me. kalo ga percaya baca aja blog gue dari awal. and you can see how much i love him. because this blog is dedicated for him,too.

and every begin has it own end. just like mine, at our 9th months anniversary, at the same time we broke up.

I would thank him for all he had done for me these past 9 months as my boyfriend. Thanks for being such a good and sweet boyfriend. You've given me lots of things. I've learned so much from you. You teach me how to live, you teach me how to love. You teach me not to be a selfish person. You teach me how to think mature.

Thanks for everything.

Actually, I really can't let you go. But yeah, I don't wanna be selfish.
I would try to love you, as my big brother as my friend. Always.

I know nothing lasts forever. All that we can do is make it good, do the best that we can.
And make it worth to remember,
forever.

i
love
you

huaaaaaaaaaah udah ah gile postingnya kepanjangan nih

ps : i did it, i make it worth to remember....forever :)

sisa

click for the larger size

Sisa.
Tidak ada lagi. Tak akan ada lagi.

Hanya kenangan. Tapi bukan memilukan.
Ingat dengan senyum, ya, ingat dengan tertawa.

Sakit.
Tapi yakinlah, bisa
Tertawalah dengan bangga
Bersyukurlah karena kau pernah memilikinya

Jangan menangis karena telah berakhir
Tapi tersenyumlah karena pernah dan telah terjadi

Rewind button, I really want you for my life now

Ada kalanya, setiap orang pernah ingin memutar balik waktu. Mungkin memperbaiki kesalahan, mengambil kesempatan yang tersia-siakan, atau sekedar merasakan kembali hal-hal manis yang telah terjadi dan tak akan mungkin terulang kembali.

Dan gue lagi ngerasain hal itu. Pengen banget rasanya gue punya tombol rewind buat hidup gue. Misalnya pun gue nggak bisa memperbaiki kesalahan atau ngambil kesempatan yang kelewat, gue cuman pengen ngulang saat-saat tertentu yang udah lewat. Kangen banget.

Rasanya perih, waktu lo cuman bisa ngenang masa lalu yang lo tau nggak bakal bisa lo dapetin lagi. Mungkin sebagian bisa tapi rasanya nggak bakal sama. Kayak waktu lo keinget masa-masa kecil lo yang udah lewat. Masih bisa reuni, tapi rasanya yaa udah beda. Atau kangen sama mantan. Masih bisa ketemu, yaa tapi pasti beda banget lah.

Nggak ada yang abadi.
Semua hal di dalam hidup kita suatu saat pasti akan jadi kenangan juga.

Tadi gue baru buka-buka folder foto gue. Banyak banget kenangan yang kesimpen. Gue jadi senyum-senyum sendiri ngingetnya, tapi kangen, sedih. Beberapa yang pantes buat di share gue upload di facebook. Sebenernya ada banyak foto lain lagi yang mau gue upload, tapi keadaan tidak memungkinkan.

Banyak hal yang sudah (begitu cepat) berubah

Si A rambutnya masih gondrong, si ini masih jadian sama si itu, si B masih pake kacamata yang ono, si X masih bawa motor yang itu, si Y masih sekelas sama si Z..

Gue cuman bisa kangen ngingetnya.

Ah, cepet banget berubah yaa.

Sayangnya gue bukan tipe orang yang gampang merubah perasaan.

Gue kangen sama lo semua.
Sama lo juga, hei lo yang-disana-yang-nggak-mungkin-ngangenin-gue.

love is you, you is mine!

a boy who always makes me laugh
a boy who always makes me sing
a boy who always spent his life for me
a boy who knows well about me
a boy can't takes his eyes from me
a boy who always says 'i love you' everytime
a boy gives everything to me
a boy who cries when i'm cry
a boy can makes me sad
a boy can makes me feel in heaven
a boy who always wants to stay wherever i tell him you must go

he sings
he cries
he laugh
he fall
he loving
he heart-ing
he lies

whatever you are i always love i know i always make lots of mistakes to you but you know oh you know that i really really love you,i won't go deer,yes you deer and you are my dear 2626262626 :'(