he....is......really......gone

Have you ever felt some kind of emptiness inside?
You will never measure up to those people
You must be strong, can't show them that you're weak
Have you ever told someone something that's far from the truth?
Let them know that you're okay
Just to make them stop
All the wondering, and questions they may have

I'm okay, I really am now
Just needed some time, to figure things out
Not telling lies, I'll be honest with you
Still we don't know what's yet to come

Have you ever seen your face in a mirror there's a smile?
But inside you're just a mess,
You feel far from good
Need to hide, 'cos they'd never understand
Have you ever had this wish of being somewhere else
To let go of your disguise, all your worries too?
And from that moment, then you see things clear...

I've just woken up & realized...
This is not just a nightmare.
This is fact. He is not mine anymore.

I feel empty and alone.
I wish this was a bad dream I could wake up from.

I was heartbroken (and still I am).

If your heart could feel, let it feel this.
Let it feel meaningless words and glass shattered hearts and tears that burn.
Let it feel the pain of loving someone and not being able to touch them.
Let it feel the spirit aching, aching for a love it cannot obtain.
Let it feel.

setiap tempat yang biasa gue lewatin bareng dia, setiap gue dengerin lagu viva la vida, setiap gue liat album foto gue di hape sama dia, setiap kata-kata yang biasa dia ucapin, setiap baca sms-sms jaman dulu dari dia, setiap nemuin angka 26, setiap gue buka blog,facebook,twitter, yang hampir semua tentang dia, setiap gue buka halaman belakang buku tulis gue banyak tulisan laxel, setiap liat kalung dari jogja yang tulisannya 'laxel 2619' setiap gue liat iklan XL di tv, rasanya pengen gue pecahin tuh tv pake linggis, setiap gue buka wall to wall gue sm dia, setiap gue lakuin,ngedenger,ngeliat sesuatu yang ada hubungannya sama dia...
gue lemes.
gue gabisa nangis.
dan gue bener-bener bingung harus gimana.